The Cryonic Woman
Bender, we’re trying our best. Meh. You don’t know how to do any of those. Isn’t it true that you have been paid for your testimony?
A Fishful of Dollars
Oh, all right, I am. But if anything happens to me, tell them I died robbing some old man. Guess again. I never loved you. Well, let’s just dump it in the sewer and say we delivered it.
- Take me to your leader!
- Oh God, what have I done?
A Head in the Polls
Yeah, I do that with my stupidness. Noooooo! Yeah. Give a little credit to our public schools. Anyone who laughs is a communist!
Bender Should Not Be Allowed on TV
Oh, how I wish I could believe or understand that! There’s only one reasonable course of action now: kill Flexo! Kids have names? Negative, bossy meat creature! Man, I’m sore all over. I feel like I just went ten rounds with mighty Thor. You can see how I lived before I met you.
- I meant ‘physically’. Look, perhaps you could let me work for a little food? I could clean the floors or paint a fence, or service you sexually?
- It’s toe-tappingly tragic!
Three Hundred Big Boys
For one beautiful night I knew what it was like to be a grandmother. Subjugated, yet honored. With gusto. You won’t have time for sleeping, soldier, not with all the bed making you’ll be doing.
You’re going to do his laundry? It’s toe-tappingly tragic! Professor, make a woman out of me.
You guys go on without me! I’m going to go… look for more stuff to steal! Yes, I saw. You were doing well, until everyone died. But I’ve never been to the moon! I love you, buddy!
Anyhoo, your net-suits will allow you to experience Fry’s worm infested bowels as if you were actually wriggling through them. For example, if you killed your grandfather, you’d cease to exist! You’ll have all the Slurm you can drink when you’re partying with Slurms McKenzie! Yes. You gave me a dollar and some candy. Um, is this the boring, peaceful kind of taking to the streets? Okay, it’s 500 dollars, you have no choice of carrier, the battery can’t hold the charge and the reception isn’t very…
Five hours? Aw, man! Couldn’t you just get me the death penalty? Oh God, what have I done? I could if you hadn’t turned on the light and shut off my stereo.
I suppose I could part with ‘one’ and still be feared… I was all of history’s great robot actors – Acting Unit 0.8; Thespomat; David Duchovny! A true inspiration for the children. Why would a robot need to drink?
I videotape every customer that comes in here, so that I may blackmail them later. Alright, let’s mafia things up a bit. Joey, burn down the ship. Clamps, burn down the crew. Switzerland is small and neutral! We are more like Germany, ambitious and misunderstood! Tell them I hate them. Yeah, I do that with my stupidness.
Well, thanks to the Internet, I’m now bored with sex. Is there a place on the web that panders to my lust for violence? Oh no! The professor will hit me! But if Zoidberg ‘fixes’ it… then perhaps gifts! Take me to your leader! Ah, computer dating. It’s like pimping, but you rarely have to use the phrase “upside your head.”
I guess if you want children beaten, you have to do it yourself. Come, Comrade Bender! We must take to the streets! Yeah, lots of people did.
Or a guy who burns down a bar for the insurance money! Ooh, name it after me! When will that be? In your time, yes, but nowadays shut up! Besides, these are adult stemcells, harvested from perfectly healthy adults whom I killed for their stemcells. Take me to your leader!
That’s a popular name today. Little “e”, big “B”? All I want is to be a monkey of moderate intelligence who wears a suit… that’s why I’m transferring to business school! You’re going to do his laundry? It’s toe-tappingly tragic!
Hey, you add a one and two zeros to that or we walk! Look, everyone wants to be like Germany, but do we really have the pure strength of ‘will’? Dear God, they’ll be killed on our doorstep! And there’s no trash pickup until January 3rd.
Tell them I hate them. Who are you, my warranty?! Morbo can’t understand his teleprompter because he forgot how you say that letter that’s shaped like a man wearing a hat. It’s a T. It goes “tuh”.
And then the battle’s not so bad? As an interesting side note, as a head without a body, I envy the dead. Well I’da done better, but it’s plum hard pleading a case while awaiting trial for that there incompetence. Throw her in the brig. Your best is an idiot!
One hundred dollars. Ugh, it’s filthy! Why not create a National Endowment for Strip Clubs while we’re at it? Enough about your promiscuous mother, Hermes! We have bigger problems. Fry! Quit doing the right thing, you jerk! Then throw her in the laundry room, which will hereafter be referred to as “the brig”. Nay, I respect and admire Harold Zoid too much to beat him to death with his own Oscar.
Why would a robot need to drink? I meant ‘physically’. Look, perhaps you could let me work for a little food? I could clean the floors or paint a fence, or service you sexually? Come, Comrade Bender! We must take to the streets! Your best is an idiot! Why not indeed! Why am I sticky and naked? Did I miss something fun?