Ah, computer dating. It’s like pimping, but you rarely have to use the phrase “upside your head.” Why am I sticky and naked? Did I miss something fun? Tell them I hate them. For example, if you killed your grandfather, you’d cease to exist! You are the last hope of the universe.
War Is the H-Word
I suppose I could part with ‘one’ and still be feared… Who’s brave enough to fly into something we all keep calling a death sphere? All I want is to be a monkey of moderate intelligence who wears a suit… that’s why I’m transferring to business school! I love you, buddy! You can see how I lived before I met you.
- Oh God, what have I done?
- It’s a T. It goes “tuh”.
- You’re going to do his laundry?
Bendin’ in the Wind
That’s a popular name today. Little “e”, big “B”? It’s okay, Bender. I like cooking too. Well I’da done better, but it’s plum hard pleading a case while awaiting trial for that there incompetence. Bender, we’re trying our best. When will that be? Oh, I always feared he might run off like this. Why, why, why didn’t I break his legs?
A Head in the Polls
Nay, I respect and admire Harold Zoid too much to beat him to death with his own Oscar. As an interesting side note, as a head without a body, I envy the dead. A true inspiration for the children.
- Throw her in the brig.
- I wish! It’s a nickel.
- That’s a popular name today. Little “e”, big “B”?
- For one beautiful night I knew what it was like to be a grandmother. Subjugated, yet honored.
Where No Fan Has Gone Before
Come, Comrade Bender! We must take to the streets! With gusto. Your best is an idiot! Why am I sticky and naked? Did I miss something fun? Meh.
The Farnsworth Parabox
I wish! It’s a nickel. Yeah, I do that with my stupidness. Yes. You gave me a dollar and some candy.